Did you know the average American family only spends 35 minutes of quality time together per day? Now, at first I was kind of shocked by this number. But then, the more I started to think about how full life can get, the more this number seemed pretty realistic.
Think about it. Between work, sports, chores, school, housework, and everything in between, life is BUSY! And as a result, we’re seeing a huge decline in uninterrupted and intentional quality family time.
But this is really concerning to me. Because there is so much power in the family unit.
There is so much potential inside the four walls of your home. And if you aren’t taking the time to sow the seeds, nurture, and grow what you have, someone else is going to step in and take your place.
Whether it be friends at school, coaches, teachers – your kids have so many influences today. And it’s crucial that your voice in their life is louder and more influential than any other voice.
I say this a lot and I’m going to say it again. Your family team is the most important team you will ever be on.
And you can’t grow as a team unless you spend time together, condition, and build on eachothers strengths and weaknesses. Quality time together builds trust, honesty, and confidence.
Stop buying your kids stuff and start “buying” their time.
They will remember the time you spend with them far more than any gatchet you buy them. Promise, cross my heart. Proven mom fact.
Now if you’re beating yourself up right now, because you feel like you’ve been failing in the quality time category, stoooop right now!!!! No mom guilt allowed. It is never ever too late to start stepping it up a notch with quality time with your kids.
And to show you just how easy it can be, I want to share 6 simple ways to spend quality time with your kids even when life is full.
Here we go.
1. EAT DINNER AS A FAMILY
I am amazed how many families don’t make the family dinner table a priority. Even when they’re all home at the same time! Some eat at the table, others eat on the couch or at the kitchen island. This is incredible family time that you’re missing out on!
The dinner table brings your family together. And if you aren’t eating dinner together as a family, you need to start, right now. Even if your schedule is busy and it’s hard to get everyone home at the same time for dinner, try to make this happen at least a couple of times a week. And then capitalize on these times and make them count.
Be sure to make family dinner conversations intentional and inclusive of the whole family. Don’t just talk to your spouse about your day at work. Take this time to go around the table and have everyone share something about their day. What’s something they learned? What’s something they’re thankful for? There are some great conversations that can come from just asking a simple question at the table.
Which is why I love family dinners! It’s such a special time when you use it intentionally.
Not sure what to cook? I got you! Download the weekly meal plan guide to help you out.
2. TALKS AT BEDTIME
If your kids are still young enough where you have a bedtime routine with them, take advantage of this opportunity to talk to them.
We have a rule in our house, that our kids can ask us anything they want at bedtime. It’s a safe time and no question is off limits. I really treasure this time, because I never know what’s going to come out of their mouths. Some topics are heavier than others, for sure! But, I love that they feel comfortable enough to bring these things up with us. And my hope is that this safe space that we have created at bedtime will see us through to the harder years. When topics and conversations get to be heavier, we will have a really great foundation established. And they’ll know they can come to us and talk about the hard things.
Cherish these bedtime moments with your kids. They are moments that may just see you through for many years to come.
3. GO ON A DATE
Date your kids!!! Just like you need one on one time with your spouse, it is also so important to have one on one time with your kids. This doesn’t always have to be something elaborate. It can be as simple as going on a walk together. But having focused, uninterrupted time together can be a really special time.
When you’re on your date, try to ask some intentional questions to get inside your kids head. I always love doing this because their responses are usually very unexpected.
Here’s a couple ideas to get you thinking:
- What is your favorite thing we do as a family?
- Describe to me what a perfect day would be for you?
- What do you want to do more of as a family?
- What scares you the most?
- If you could fly for a day where would you want to go?
You can learn so so much about your kids just by spending a little bit of one on one time with them.
4. HAVE INTENTIONAL CONVERSTAIONS IN THE CAR
Let’s be honest, some weeks are just crazy busy and you may feel like everyone in your family is going all different directions with their schedules. This is just life sometimes, I get it. So this is when you need to get creative with the time that you do have. Instead of turning on the music or everyone sitting on their electronic devices in the car, turn it all off and talk! Make the most of the time you do have and make it count.
Just like you would do at the dinner table or on a date, ask questions and have intentional conversation. Sometimes you just have to get creative and maximize on the time that you do have.
5. SPEND 15 MINUTES OF FOCUSED TIME TOGETHER
Did you know that kids really only need 15 minutes of your undivided attention to feel like they have spent quality time with you. After 15 minutes they often get distracted and move onto the next thing. It’s a proven fact. And we can do anything for 15 minutes right?
If your kids are really young, your 15 minutes may be spent on the floor playing toys for 15 minutes. I know it’s probably not your favorite thing, but you can do it!
If your kids are a little older, get creative and find something you both like to do. Maybe you bake cookies together, paint nails, or go outside and play basketball. This quality time can be fun for both of you if you just put a little thinking into it and do something you both like to do.
6. HAVE MEMORABLE MOMENTS
If you think back on your childhood, you probably have some really memorable moments from growing up. Or if you don’t, this may be something that you want to give your kids.
When I was younger, I liked to be on the go all the time. I always wanted to know what the plan was for the day, and if we didn’t have any plans, it felt torturous to be home all day. (Gosh, how this has come full circle being a mom now)!
But I very vividly remember, on those days where I was going stir crazy at home, my mom and I would often hop in the car late at night and just go walk around Walmart or another store that was open. Not to ever buy anything, but simply to get out of the house for a bit.
These were very memorable moments for me and something I appreciate even more as a mom now. Because as much as my mom probably didn’t love going to Walmart at 10 pm, she loved spending quality time with me. We had great conversations during these late-night Walmart runs and I love having these memorable moments.
ACTION STEPS!
This week, I want you to think about how you can capitalize on the time you have with your kids and make it count.
Maybe the first step is cooking dinner and eating at the dinner table all together.
If this week is packed, then make your car rides your quality time. Turn the music down and have a conversation.
There are little pockets of quality time throughout the day, you just need to find them, put the distractions away, and lean into them. Investing quality time into your family time will be your greatest investment you will ever have.